Communication Assessments

            This week I asked my stepmom and my husband to fill out the three communications assessments about myself. The most surprising aspect I found was that my husband evaluated my verbal aggressiveness as 'significant'. I was under the impression that we had successful communications and that we talked things out very well. I was surprised to find that I made him feel attacked or put down when we discussed certain topics. He clarified that he does not always feel this way but if there is a point that I really want to make that I will make it despite his feelings. I was very saddened by this and I am determined to not let anger or meanness find its way into our communications anymore.

           I also learned that I still have a high level of social anxiety that I had thought was more under control. I fear that this might negatively affect social life as well as my professional work in regards to my relationships with coworkers. Also any time that I may need to speak in meetings or conferences this may become an issue.

            One other aspect about my communication skills that I learned this week is that I have a people-oriented listening style. I think that this could either help or hurt, depending on the context, because of the level of empathy involved in this style. I think that it could help in that it can help me listen closely and truly to children, coworkers, and families. However, it may negatively affect me because empathy may affect proper judgment of a situation. 

Communicating with Diverse Groups

I unfortunately do find myself interacting differently when I am with different groups of people. Some of these interaction differences are choices that I consciously make to suite the situation, but there are some that I am aware of that I do not mean to continue doing. One of the differences I have noticed is that when I am communicating with African Americans, of either gender, I become very shy. I have a hard time expressing my thoughts and interjecting into the conversation. I also find myself guarding my language and how I describe things when I communicate with Middle Eastern Americans. I tend to give a lot of examples but when I am with diverse people I am afraid to say something to offend whomever. There seem to be a lot of rules and cultural expectations that I am unaware of, and I am unclear if/when I break a rule. My husband was recently employed by a man who has just immigrated from Pakistan. I often felt that I was saying or doing something to offend him but I could not understand what.

Writing this post this week I am reminded of a story my husband told me about himself when he was a teenager. A car stopped by him on the street and asked him for some directions; they spoke with a very heavy French accent. When my husband replied he began speaking in a made-up, terrible, nowhere close to accurate, French accent. He spoke about two sentences, then noticing what he was doing stopped himself and he apologized to them. They all laughed and he started again, without the strange drawl. He mentioned to me later that he had never spoken to someone with a true accent before and he wonders if that is why it just came out? That brings me to my first strategy to use to communicate more effectively with diverse groups..

1. The first thing I should do to increase my effectiveness of communication with African Americans is to find a friend or colleague to talk with. We could do something casual like go to a coffee shop or cafe.

2. Next I should do some research on the Middle East and learn about some of their well-known customs. I think if I knew more about this culture I would know where to start. I also think that I should interact personally with a person from this culture but I would like to learn some basic expectations first.

3. The third step I think that I should take to increase my communication skills with all diverse groups is to continue to practice and broaden my social group to include people from all walks of life. I am comfortable with my communication skills regarding people with diverse needs, but people with diverse cultures is still an area that needs improvement in my life. I think that this aspect could be approached in person as well as viral, or through the internet. I think that there is lot that one can learn and practice via facebook, texting, and emailing about diverse cultures, though the same rules do not always apply in person. 

I Love Lucy

            For this blog assignment I decided to watch "I Love Lucy" since it is a show I have not seen many times before and I thought it would be interesting to watch silently. The character relationships are very different when the sound is turned off compared to when the sound is turned on. Turned off, the characters do not seem to communicate very well; they do not consistently make eye contact nor wait for one another to stop talking before the other begins.

            With the sound turned off the relationships in the show do not seem sincere, but they do appear to be relationships that have lasted a long time. Ricky and Lucy seem to enjoy each other with lots of smiles and pats on one another's arms. However, they often talk facing away from one another insinuating that they do not respect each other enough to pay attention and listen effectively. They do not use many hand gestures but they do use body movements to emphasize certain points.

            The characters in this episode of "I Love Lucy" seem to be feeling very stressed and annoyed, according to their nonverbal behavior. They face their bodies away from one another, scowl at one another, and stomp their feet. Their more subtle body movements are sharp and agitated, showing their annoyance.

            When I re-watched this episode with the volume turned on, I realized that the characters are not really annoyed at one another, though they were stressed. The episode was about Lucy and Ethel buying a freezer behind Ricky and Fred's backs. At the beginning of the episode I thought that Ricky and Lucy were communicating poorly, but in reality they were just in the middle of a disagreement about buying a freezer. When Ethel enters the scene after Ricky leaves, I misinterpreted her communication with Lucy as well. I had thought their relationship was rude, but in reality they have a playful and sarcastic relationship that was simply hard to understand without the volume.

            I am not sure if this is the case with all television shows, but this show definitely needs to be watched with the volume on (or with subtitles). The characters spoken words and body language do not always agree with one another. Also sarcasm and irony are difficult to understand without language being used.

            I think that I would be able to interpret a show more accurately that I am more familiar with, but I cannot promise that. A lot of information is shared through verbal communication, which makes sense for a television show; which is typically created to be seen and heard.  

EDUC 6165-3

Effective Communication

"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn"

~Benjamin Franklin

The most effective communicator I can recall is the teacher I completed my student teaching with (my SBTE). She has been elected Teacher of the Year multiple times, and she has been teaching for less than 10 years. What made her such an effective communicator (and teacher) was her ability to listen and 'read' the other person involved in the conversation. She knows when to add emphasis with body movements or gestures and exactly when to pause for effect. She can also often guess when more clarification will be needed and has a different example ready for a second attempt at understanding. Mrs. Shari Berg is an excellent teacher, and also an excellent communicator. I learned many things from her including how to effectively raise my voice and obtain control of a classroom, without over doing it. I also have to attribute my ability to listen closely to others to her; she set an excellent example. 

Thank you for reading, I look forward to a semester of learning and growth!

Jen Lewis