Adjourning

Are high-performing groups hardest to leave?

            I think that high performing groups are among the hardest to leave because you have experienced great success as a member of that group. You would probably be fearful to move on and have to face less success or even failure.

Groups with the clearest established norms?

            Norms for a group are things like habits, rituals, expectations, accommodations, language, dress, style of communication. These things can create a type of security blanket or give the feeling of comfort and home. To leave these things behind is hard because new groups may, and likely do, have different norms.

Which of the groups that you participated in was hardest to leave? Why?

            The hardest group to leave was my 6th grade soccer team. Our team was still co-ed but I believe this was our last or second to last year for this. My dad was our coach and he drove my best friend and I. I think our team was extra close for a few reasons. We always had practice whereas most other teams played and practice only with good weather. Sprinkle or rain with no lighting meant we practiced on the field as normal. If the weather turned worse we would move inside for a modified practice. We went for pizza as a team quite a few times throughout the season and we always carpooled to games. We had a two middle schools in my school district growing up and my whole team was in one school, actually in only two classes. I think this added to our closeness and lengthened our friendships built during the season throughout the rest of the school year.

What sorts of closing rituals have you experienced or wish you had experienced?

            The closing ritual for my 6th grade soccer team was very special to me. We had pizza and cake at my house the Saturday after the last game. We played at my house for hours; trampoline, I think my promiscuous cat had just had kittens, and I remember playing hide & seek outside in the dark (long after the party should have ended). I think this gave us all closure and fond memories.

How do you imagine that you will adjourn from the group of colleagues you have formed while working on your master's degree in this program?

            I hope that when we adjourn from this group of colleagues that I am able to provide them encouragement towards their future endeavors. Through the discussions and this blog I have learned a great deal from my colleagues about their perspectives on issues so that I can understand those topics more holistically and also what they may gleam from resources that I have not. This group has been very supportive of my learning and encouraging me to continue trying my best.

Why is adjourning an essential stage of teamwork?

            Adjourning is essential because it gives individuals the chance to evaluate the events that have occurred, capture lessons learned, and evaluate how you have grown or changed (Abudi, 2010).

Resources:

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Conflict Resolution, hopefully

                 I live with my step-mom and my aunt, who both smoke. They smoke outside and in the car sometimes. My problem is that they smoke right outside the sliding door, which is the only path for my one-year old daughter to get to the backyard, and they are almost constantly out there. They take up the only patio furniture and they leave the butts and all their other accessories on the low table so my daughter can never be in that area. If they are watching her they may hold the cigarette in one hand and help her with the other, and that is just way too close for comfort to being burned and exposed to secondhand smoke. They also will smoke outside the car if the baby or I go with them somewhere, but they will leave the car door or windows open so we can socialize while we all get cancer.

            As you can tell, this topic still frustrates me. I do everything I can to keep my daughter safe and as healthy as she can be and I feel like it is thrown in my face by exposing us both to these horrible chemicals. They are both educated adults so it just doesn't make sense to me. But to help with this conflict there are two approaches I could take; Non Violent Communication and the Third Side.

            Using NVC I could honestly express myself without attacking my family. The fourth skill in NVC states, "requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we want" (www.cnvc.org). I could hope that by communicating my needs clearly, without tension, and specifically that my family would listen and do their best to meet those needs.

            Another approach, that I think is much more likely to be successful, puts most of the responsibility on my understanding their perspective. If I use 3S to understanding their side of the argument I could come to the realization that they are not out there smoking all the time and that we could go play somewhere else for the few minutes they take to smoke a cigarette. I could also be understanding that they want to continue talking to us when they stop to smoke in the car. We could get out of the car and stand out of the smoke range to talk with them.

            If anyone else has any further input and advice on this situation I would appreciate it. I enjoy my family's company but the safety of my baby girl comes first.